She is in my trunk
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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