Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
