But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
