Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
she told me i tasted like america
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
