At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
