We won't sleep together?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
