walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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