i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
