Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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