He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Randomize
