i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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