Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My feet surprised me
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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