Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
no, he came in my armpit
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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