How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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