He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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