walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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