i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
