I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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