She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
