fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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