i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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