Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
