I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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