I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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