Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
