You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
