Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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