Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
