only you would photoshop your dick
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize