I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize