he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
