Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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