White coat. Heels.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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