I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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