Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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