if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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