i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Come see our sink grown plant.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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