He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
