So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
