oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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