How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
