READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
