Don't you send me to vm
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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