I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize