My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
