it wasn't lemon gatorade
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
they're like a gay fantastic four
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize