Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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