11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
