Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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