i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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