Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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