my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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