Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
