We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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