I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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