while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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