ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
