I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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