Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
