Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
