loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He kissed a someone with a penis
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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