Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
